- NEED, PLAN, AND PRACTICALITY (or, PREPARING FOR A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!)
i. Before presenting a policy, you must establish that a current problem exists and relates to your audience
- (zombies! We’re gonna die!)
ii. Explain the problem
iii. How it effects the population
iv. Dangers if not fixed
- I should not have to explain why a zombie apocalypse is the WORST possible situation to be in. they are unstoppable. They are hungry. And contrary to popular belief, I believe zombies cloak themselves in handsomeness. They don’t look like Sophia Loren. They look like Alec Baldwin in a tailored suit. Phenomenal.
i. This is the hardest part. Everyone has a friggin’ opinion:
- “We should stand and fight!”
- “We should run and hide!”
- “We should make-out!”
ii. A plan should solve the problem with logic. And finesse.
- Explain your plan
- We should build a bunker and kidnap a scientist so he can mutate our genes so that we might become immune to zombie venom
- State who shall enforce this plan
- The prettiest person in the room will be in charge. Just to switch it up
- Discuss funding
- Magazine drive
- Will this plan absolve us of a zombie problem entirely?
ii. Advantages vs. Disadvantages
- What is worse? living underground eating nothing but corn chips in the hopes of survival? Or being gang banged by a group of hungry zombies
- You might say guns are the answer to fighting off a zombie attack, but try finding a responsible medic under times of duress should you misfire on your own face. You can’t.
i. Zombies: Anti-Zombie Venom
i. Zombies: Global Warming: anti-Zombie Venom
- As always, speeches need a Intro, Body and Conclusion
i. Best of luck, survivors…