Need, Plan, Practicality: a survivors guide

  1. NEED, PLAN, AND PRACTICALITY (or, PREPARING FOR A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!)
    1. Need

i.     Before presenting a policy, you must establish that a current problem exists and relates to your audience

  1. (zombies! We’re gonna die!)

ii.     Explain the problem

iii.     How it effects the population

iv.     Dangers if not fixed

  1. I should not have to explain why a zombie apocalypse is the WORST possible situation to be in. they are unstoppable. They are hungry. And contrary to popular belief, I believe zombies cloak themselves in handsomeness. They don’t look like Sophia Loren. They look like Alec Baldwin in a tailored suit. Phenomenal.
  2. Plan

i.     This is the hardest part. Everyone has a friggin’ opinion:

  1. “We should stand and fight!”
  2. “We should run and hide!”
  3. “We should make-out!”

ii.     A plan should solve the problem with logic. And finesse.

  1. Explain your plan
    1. We should build a bunker and kidnap a scientist so he can mutate our genes so that we might become immune to zombie venom
    2. State who shall enforce this plan
      1. The prettiest person in the room will be in charge. Just to switch it up
    3. Discuss funding
      1. Magazine drive
  2. Practicality

i.     Cure

  1. Will this plan absolve us of a zombie problem entirely?

ii.     Advantages vs. Disadvantages

  1. What is worse? living underground eating nothing but corn chips in the hopes of survival? Or being gang banged by a group of hungry zombies

iii.     Counterarguments

  1. You might say guns are the answer to fighting off a zombie attack, but try finding a responsible medic under times of duress should you misfire on your own face.  You can’t.
  2. Problem-Solution

i.     Zombies: Anti-Zombie Venom

  1. Problem-Cause-Solution

i.     Zombies: Global Warming: anti-Zombie Venom

  1. As always, speeches need a Intro, Body and Conclusion

i.     Best of luck, survivors…

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